The day we parted ways.

I remember your tears falling from the skies

you thought I wasn't built for the world and the evil's that surrounded me

I had a dream about us rebuilding but you told me I wasn't ready to commit 

I felt angry, so with both hands I smashed your book into the ground

I felt broken but complete.

you see, what they don't understand is that our relationship has been an uphill battle

we would climb to fall, then climb to fall again

some days we felt defeated but today you broke through my thick skull

I'm nothing without your guidance. 

I'm nothing without my guidance

it's important that I value my opportunities for what they are and not for what they could be

I want to thank you for the day we parted ways

it made me stronger knowing that you respected my decision.

Taking Chances in the dark.

Every day I forget about my purpose in life and I begin to second guess all the risks I'm taking. It's not easy to admit, but taking chances this year has been an uphill battle. I second guess every decision and ultimately it hurts my drive and creativity. I don't expect anyone to understand how I feel. But, I know that some of you will understand because you might be or know someone that is going through the same struggle. I try to write my thoughts down but Im clouded by the fear that consumes my process. There's no easier way to describe it, but there's a level of discomfort when you're constantly releasing work and it seems that nobody is paying attention.  It feels as if everything I'm doing is being recycled by the lack of motivation I carry. It's not hard to take chances, but its harder when your blind folded to the truth. I can sit here and say, "Im not going to care anymore" but that isn't true. I have to care about what I create because if not, my work will continue to suffer.